Forgiveness is a topic I return to often because I have seen time and time again in my own life and in my coaching practice that it is one of the most powerful keys to freedom, health, and happiness that we have.
The greatest sign that love is present in one’s life is the presence of forgiveness. It is a sign of love for both yourself and for others. The most loving thing you can do in any relationship, for yourself and for others, is to let go.
Let go of the resentment that is poisoning the relationship.
Let go of the expectations that are suffocating others.
Let go of the version of yourself you keep punishing for not being enough.
Real love requires open hearts and open hands. The willingness to stop gripping so tightly to what was, so you can receive what could be. Where there is forgiveness, there is freedom.
Forgiveness as a Process
We choose to forgive for our own sake, because forgiveness is the process of letting go so that whatever has been hurting you does not continue to hurt you. I use the word process because when we choose to forgive, it may not immediately feel as though the other person is forgiven. We choose to forgive, and we continue forgiving, until eventually the forgiveness becomes authentic.
The pain may take time to heal, and that is understandable. But the choice to forgive is a powerful place to begin. It is choosing to feel something other than hurt, rejection, bitterness, resentment, or anger.
Very often, we resist forgiving because we want the other person to suffer as much as we do. Yet the suffering keeps us trapped, not them. Why would you give someone the power to continue hurting you when you can choose to live free?
During the process of forgiveness, something shifts. We begin to replace hurt with healthier emotions, new experiences, and even things to celebrate. Eventually, the bonds loosen, and in time we begin to trust again. And we feel free.
Forgiveness does not mean liking or accepting what was done. It begins with choosing love. While you are forgiving, you can choose to do good rather than seek revenge. You can bless. You can pray. It may begin simply with choosing blessing instead of rehearsing bitterness.
And just as importantly, you must learn to love yourself enough to forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. Not one of us is perfect. When we struggle to extend grace to ourselves, we often struggle to extend it to others.
Forgiveness is love in action. And where love leads, freedom follows.