Courageous Conversations
When people hear the phrase ‘courageous conversations’, they often think conflict, confrontation, or those dreaded “difficult conversations.” But actually, I believe that courage is about showing up fully and leaning into vulnerability in any conversation.
Brené Brown calls vulnerability the act of showing up when it would be easier to stay silent, being seen when the outcome is uncertain. That’s courage.
“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.”
It very often takes courage to sit down with someone and truly co-create a conversation that’s effective, respectful, and valuable for both of you. In the workshops I run, I connect courageous conversations to emotional and social intelligence. At the heart of these meaningful exchanges, it is important that we ask ourselves how aware we are of our own emotions and the emotions of others, and whether we are able to use this awareness to understand and adapt our behaviour in our interactions with others.
Here’s where it gets practical: between listening and speaking, there’s a space. Stephen Covey writes about this in his book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. He highlights that while we cannot always control the stimulus or event, we can always do our best to control our response to it. It is in that space we have the power to choose how we respond.
In any given conversation, it helps to pause, breathe and ask ourselves simple questions like:
- How do I want this conversation to end?
- What would tell me this was a valuable conversation?
- How do I want the other person to feel when they walk away?
- How do I want to feel when I walk away?
These aren’t theoretical questions. They’re anchors that help us show up with love, compassion, clarity, self-control, and respect.
Biblical wisdom, written by James, encourages that everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
One of the best ways to anchor ourselves is through L.O.V.E.
- Listen – not just to reply, but to understand.
- Stay Open – in heart, mind, and gut.
- Value the other person’s ideas, feelings, and perspective.
- Explore together – stay curious, expand each other’s thinking, and co-create.
It’s simple, but powerful. Conversations co-created this way leave both people feeling heard, encouraged, respected and safe. And when people feel safe, they bring their best selves, whether at work, at home, or anywhere in between.
Maybe courageous conversations aren’t just about tackling the hard stuff. Maybe they’re about treating every conversation as an opportunity to connect, to respect, and to leave someone better than we found them. So let me ask you: what would change if you treated every conversation as an opportunity to bring courage, curiosity, and compassion to the table?