LIFE Balance begins with Self-Care
“We must eradicate the shame of rest and replace it with the pride of self-care.” Juliet Funt
I sat in the Global Leadership Summit in 2021 and heard these words and thought, ‘I learned that the hard way’. This has been one of my biggest learnings these last few years while healing and recovering from burnout. I have had to learn that it is okay to sit quietly reading or writing while the house waits to be cleaned. It is okay to take a gentle walk in nature instead of frantically marketing my new business. What would I have been able to give to my clients anyway, while in this state of burnout?
“We can only give to others what we have.”
The Work/Life Balance Myth
The world speaks about work-life balance. In fact they advocate for this so loudly that most articles we read shout these words at us! I myself believed the lie of work-life balance. I would like to challenge this because I believe now that it teaches us that work is most important in our lives and somehow we have to balance the rest of our lives with WORK – it has become our source of satisfaction and achievement, our status, our identity, our qualifications, our credibility – and then we burn out and what good are we to anyone? Work is only one element of what makes up LIFE.
For a long time, I misunderstood the concept of “work-life balance.” I believed it meant life has two separate elements: work and life, each existing in its own distinct space. In my reflective practice, I often drew a balancing scale with “work” on one side and “life” on the other. But something about that image always felt off – like I was missing a crucial piece.
As I embarked on my own healing journey from burnout, I started questioning this framework. Instead of seeing work and life as two opposing forces to balance, I began to view life as-a-whole, with work as only one part of it – the part I chose to dedicate to it. That shift in perspective was eye-opening.
Something struck me, and though it seems a simplistic way to think about it, it may be the very thing that wakes a person up. A standard work contract asks for 8 hours a day, roughly 40 hours a week (sometimes we may stretch it to 50 or 60 hours). But in a 168-hour week, that still leaves more time for life than for work! So why do we call it “work-life balance” instead of simply “life balance”?
With this perspective, when I revisited my old balancing scale drawings, I realised my mistake: I had depicted balance as linear, a balancing act between work and life. But life isn’t linear—it moves in cycles, with natural ebbs and flows. This realisation led me to ask deeper questions:
- What would a sustainable flow look like, so I never experience burnout again?
- What does my life’s flow look like right now?
- How will I recognise when that flow is disrupted?
The common thread in the answers to my questions kept pointing me toward three core indicators: contentment, being grounded and inner joy. I began measuring the health of my flow by the presence – or absence – of these qualities.
From there, my focus shifted to harmony. I asked myself: How do I keep all the roles, responsibilities, relationships and reflective space in my life aligned so they create harmony rather than conflict? Slowly, the idea of “harmonious flow” emerged – a concept that felt more natural and sustainable than rigidly balancing work against life.
Harmonious Flow
Understanding harmonious flow is one thing. Living it is another. I needed consistent practice to stay grounded and connected to my true self, so I developed a reflective practice that became more essential to me than even exercise.
I sometimes use the concept of the “Wheel of Life” assessment tool created by Paul Meyer in the 1960s, which is not a new tool and will be familiar to many. I adapted it to include the central hub of the wheel, which represents my core self – spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. The spokes of the wheel represent different areas of my life as they exist in the present moment. Just like in a real wheel, the hub’s stability determines how smoothly everything moves. If the hub is neglected, the wheel wobbles or breaks.
During my reflection, I ask myself:
- What does harmonious flow feel like for me right now?
- What signs would tell me that all the parts of my life are not in harmony?
- What are these stressors?
- What are they triggering in me?
- How can I manage them?
- What needs to shift so that harmonious flow returns?
From this place, harmony naturally flows into all areas of my life, connecting them with a unified purpose of staying grounded, being content and filled with joy. Instead of striving for an impossible balancing act, I focus on nurturing a flow that supports me, one that feels deeply aligned and sustainable.
My hope in sharing this is to encourage a shift in perspective – from chasing an elusive work-life balance to cultivating a life of harmonious flow that aligns with your well-being. I hope it offers a new way of thinking for those who feel overwhelmed by their busy lives, constantly juggling responsibilities and facing potential burnout.
By tuning into your own rhythm, recognising when your flow is disrupted, and making intentional adjustments, you can create a life that feels more sustainable, fulfilling, and aligned with what truly matters to you. My hope is that this reflection sparks a moment of pause – an opportunity for you to consider how you can move through life with greater ease.
Life isn’t about perfect balance – it’s about finding harmony in the flow.
—-Are you grappling with the idea of your own Life Balance or Flow at the moment? If you’d like to co-discover some practical next steps to take in this regard, you’re welcome to book a reflective coffee chat on my calendar, and I’d be more than happy to discuss further.